mofette | (no subject)

Why do I give up so easily. I back down and give up on the things I want. Why? It's a stupid way of operating, but it does mean for an easier time on everyone else. I mean, if I give up and back down to someone else, then they get it, less hassle for them, and I be quiet and hide. I still don't really know why I do this... Fuck it.

I gave up on something else today. Threw in the towel as it were. I don't *really* mind, but hey, it's killed a part of my perk.

I went to the opening ceremony of the University. Some people gave speeches. First was the President of the University. He spoke in Japanese with a translator. Then a couple of other people, and then a Japanese lady. She spoke in simple sentences in Japanese. I started of knowing what she was saying, then I lost it completeley. Everyone else in the whole fucking place was laughing. I cried. I coudln't believe that everyone understood and not me. I mean, that's the reason I'm here, and I can't even get the basics! what the fuck?! Then an American student made a speech. He said "What have you got to offer this University?" I have nothing. I couldn't stop crying. Thankfully no-one noticed! I calmed down after a while, then looked for my other Igurisu-jins. Not a single one of them had turned up. So I went off for the free food, and ate soo much sushi I feel sick! OH well.

BTW, there's a rather shit troll on #uk_goffs right now, so any Ops about, please come kick some ass :)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Have faith in yourself young jedi!
At least you bothered to turn up and tho you didnt understand everything you were there and that shows your taking things seriously!
For what its worth I beleave in you! Im proud of you knowing youve made a huge step and are so far from home and yet still holding together!
Stay sane kitten and if it comes to it there will be an emergency gummie parcel heading your way!

Love you x

I love you too hunny :)

I'm holding out better than I thought I would. I think the amount of irc I'm getting is helping a lot! This will be decreased so that I can get along with people better. I think all I need is more confidence. something that generally comes from you guys, and you're a hell of a long way away!

But I know that you're proud of me, everyone is and it keeps me happy a hell of a lot of the time!