Depression...

Happy has never been my bag, not for the last 2 years, so why does everyone insist that it should be? ARGH! No-one can cheer me up, and quite frankly, I don't think I fucking want to. If you're happy, the only way you can go, is down. I'm quite low enough thanks, and for me to be happy, there has to be something there, be it a friend here, or better grades, or money. And I really don't think that I want to have the feeling of loosing any of them. I've got some ppl here actually, like Matt and Dru, who have cheered me up no end the last week, and they're not here! ARGH! I want to vent, I want to vent big style, but I don't want to call anyone else, because they break promises!!!!!! why am I so angry? I was like this last night, I don't know how to vent it, so I'm here. Sorry, this has got to be the worst entry I've ever written. Goodbye.