Headfirst

Nov. 6th, 2002 10:10 am
mofette: (finger)
[personal profile] mofette
I hit the wall, came away with two broken legs and crippled arms.

I could tell it was coming, I felt it from a long way off. I cried last night. I hadn't cried in weeks, I was proud of how positive I'd been, and then this happens.

I lit bomb in my homestay. I told them I wasn't staying next semester. Actually, I told Okaasan, who then told everyone else. She seemed to do it in a "Isn't she a traitor" kind of way.

When she'd done this, and was out the room, I told my sister that I wanted to stay, but I wanted pink hair. She nodded in understanding. When Okaasan came back, the mood was definately different, and she could tell I had been crying. I helped her with her English pronounciation, getting her sorted between L and R, and then told her (In Japanese)

"I want to live here next semester, but the thing I want most in the whole world, is pink hair"

I was met with a reply of Da-me. This means "Not allowed". Maki argued my case, explained that I am a good student and well behaved. Da-me. Da-me fucking Da-me

I went to bed crying. Alone. My sister says I should wait, and that I've got time to change her mind, but my form went in yesterday morning. I don't know if I can change it any more. Maybe I should just dye my hair pink at Christmas, and save on dye and be blonde when I go back to the homestay, but then she's won.

How I wish the conversation would go
"I like Natural"
"Well I like being fucked really hard and given oral sex for hours on end but we can't always have what we want"

Just stay out of my way today.
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