Mofette MOT

Today I was thinking, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at my body, then thought "What is soo good about me anyway?"

Let's start from the feet up.
My feet are nasty. My toenails frequently cut my toes to pieces even though they are as short as short can be. I've got hard patches of skin on my toes from daft shoes *No I can't stop wearing them any more, I Love them. They are soooo pretty* I HATE FEET.
My legs. Now, I've not told many people this, and I know that not all that many people I actually know come on here. I have got The worst strechmarks you've ever seen. They go everywhere on my thigs, and all down my calves. It even grosses ME out. I've also got Psoriasis on my knees. I don't know how to stop it, but I hate doctors. Not going near one. I'm just using loads of moisturiser to stop it. Grrr...
My bum. This is the biggest ass *apart from one teacher at school that we even have a dance about* that I know off. I've not even got a nice one, it just wobbles. There were these girls *they left before year 11, stupid people* that kicked it one day in Games. Called me Aileen Ripple because of it. It's wide, big and sticks out a mile.
My Stomach. I've not ever been happy about this one. Not even is it big, but because of where I wear my trousers, it's got two halves. I'm a fat fucker. I used to do sit-ups. Maybe *no not maybe, definately* I shoudl start doing them again. I'm determined to get myself fit before Uni.
My Boobs. I used to be really happy with them. I've got size 38E boobs, and they are ace! *not that I care. well, maybe a little bit* but the thing is, they make me look huger. When I wear a top that will actually get over them it makes my stomach look the same size. Blokes don't actually like big boos, not when you've got a scar from a hot rock accident right in the cleavage, and a face like mine above it.
My face is sooo weird. My teeth are all grown-up teeth, have been since junior school, but they look like milk teeth still. They are all in straight lines, but they are really little, so my smiles are really gummy. My ears are ok, but one of the holes *I've got 5 in one ear* has healed up, so I can't put an earring in it. My eyes are alright but my skin. I go red when I drink. I tried to cover it up with foundation at the last party, but it meant I had spots and I've still got them.
My arms too have psoriasis and my hands are fat and covered in scars.

Maybe I shoudl learn how to look after myself, whaddya rekon?